Behind Every Successful Man...

Jane Austin had it right. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Of course the purposes of the man’s desire for a wife does vary and because of that variance, the kind of wife he will desire shall also vary.

You have the successful playboys such as the famous Hugh Heffner who desires the classic trophy wife. They fit the profile of the Hollywood beauty, are obedient and even submissive to the point of being willing to share their men with three others, two of whom are twins (shocking!), and do not have to be very intelligent (Not to say that they are not. Just that they don’t have to be).

You have the conformist whose main purpose of desiring a wife is that society, whether in the persona of a parent, friends, or otherwise, requires it. In this case, he will go even to the extent of participating in speed dating sessions to find someone, anyone, he can have the slightest connection with. He doesn’t know what he is looking for really, just that he needs it because that’s how the world goes. So just give him someone of average looks or average ambition. She may even be bossy just so long as she’s willing to tolerate him for a lifetime, or maybe just a while.

Now, there are people desiring to be in the first category, and you have those who like to fade into the background in the second category and I’m sure we all know some people in either. Nonetheless let’s analyze a third category of men who seem to have made a severe impact in the world. People such as John F Kennedy, Theodore Roosevelt, George W Bush (he made an impact good or bad), Prince Charles, etc. What do you notice about their wives? Jacqueline Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt, Laura Bush, Princess Diana. These are not just ladies sitting back and leading the clichéd “Tai Tai” lifestyle. These are ambitious ladies, who are willing to go out there and lead organizations fighting for civil rights, welfare of children in war-torn nations, or just protect their families from the vicious media. They do not sit back at home looking pretty and smiling to the camera. They are ambitious, brilliant, courageous women and they steer the marriage and their husbands while humbly standing by him whenever adversity strikes.

It suddenly seems so clear that one of the most important decisions in a man’s life is the choosing of the right wife. A man who chooses a wife who is domineering and shining out in the spotlight is going to spend his life serving her. He will be hen-pecked and revolve his life around her pleasure. A man who chooses a classic adoring bimbo for a wife is going to belief the world revolves around him. She is the most beautiful furniture in his house and he pays for all the maintenance required to enhance her to look better and will give her as much as she wants as long as she sticks by him. But there is an exaggerated sense of self-importance. The kind you get with a CEO who surrounds himself with yes-men.

I desire to be successful and wish to make my mark in the world. To me, there’s only one kind of woman who would be right for me. She needs to be ambitious. I don’t mind if she wants to stay at home and take care of the kids, but she needs to have her own set of goals with her career in mind. She can be a writer at home, or teach tuition to help support the family and herself. That’s fine. She needs to have a mind of her own and be willing to voice out her opinion. Men can be stupid. We don’t take hints and we don’t see many points of view. We need a woman who will put us in our place, yet still recognize us as a co-leader in the household. She needs to be forgiving because men make mistakes and will hurt people without intending to. But when we are told, we will make amends (at least the good ones will). She needs to recognize that the good of the family is firmly above her.

And I shout it out now at the top of my lungs to the males in the online community that the perfect woman does exist. I should know. I found my own. Milli is absolutely brilliant. Academically, she graduated with strong honours in subjects that I can’t even begin to grasp. She is fully tolerant of the cultures of the world and judges people based on their actions rather than their backgrounds. She is just as comfortable in a cocktail party as she is in a hawker centre. She has a much defined sense of style and has helped me to improve my own fashion sense. She’s my image consultant. She strengthens my own beliefs in the devotion to the family by showing me her devotion to hers. She encourages me to go for my MBA and fully supports my decision to leave for four whole months in order to improve my market value in the job world and strive to hit my goals. And just as she encourages me to advance my own career, she plans her own career with just as much ambition and I am proud to be the one to support her through the process.

Milli has given me the great honour of being her boyfriend since Dec 1^st last year (actually we met in October but I wanted an anniversary date that’s easy to remember) and through it all, she has changed and matured me in ways I have never even fathomed. They say that behind every successful man, there is a great woman. I disagree. My great woman walks beside me hand in hand.

Currently Listening White and Nerdy By Weird Al Yankovic see related

As the Sands Through the Hourglass...

I just had lunch with some of my co-workers and I found out that one of my colleagues once wrote a blog about the things on her desk. I decided to take a page out of her book and give that a shot too so here goes.

Do you know how many things you have on your desk? I don’t. I can barely see everything. It’s all covered up by paper and stuff. Nonetheless, let’s do a quick inventory check from left to right. Now I can just describe the items but why the heck would I want to bore you with that? Let’s look deeper into them and consider the relationship they have with one another. On my left I have the tower of CD-Rs. I use them to film all the office scandals that happen around here and sell them for about S$6.50 per CD. I usually sell them out fast because I give a sneak preview to the stars. They immediately buy up my entire stock and the original presumable to ensure that they have enough to give it to their loved ones.

Next to it is the paper dump. What it looks like is a mess of paper strewn all over the table but in reality, it’s a whole bunch of paper running away from the dreaded hole-puncher which is intending to chase them all down and perforated the living daylights out of them (Maniacal laughter and lightning). Next we have the box of name cards. People think I keep them in a box in order to organize them. The truth is the box is a specially made soundproof box. I got sick of hearing all the namecards introducing themselves to each other all the time. The name card is placed next to Mr Ericcson Phone which is actually having an affair with the Mrs Monitor Dell. Mrs Monitor Dell is feeling unfulfilled about her marriage with Mr CPU Dell because he just gives her instructions and refuses to listen to her. He takes firm control of the marriage and one day when he was not looking, I forgot to turn off Mrs Monitor Dell and she ended up sleeping with Mr Ericsson Phone when one of my travel agents called. Poor CPU has yet to find out. I worry that if he finds out; he may reach for the scissors that has been placed right next to him and slaughter both Mrs Monitor and Mr Ericsson.  

Tune in next time for yet another episode of General Cubical.

Wow writing that entry made me feel like my brain shrank. I think I’ll do something more useful now. Like act like I’m working.

Currently Listening You're Beautiful By James Blunt see related

The Changing Purpose

Do you ever marvel, or shiver, at the way life seems to suddenly blindside you and shake you up in the most unexpected way? You walk down the road and suddenly you look back and wonder how the heck you ever got to where you are at this present moment when everything you originally planned was completely elsewhere. You ever get those moments of great epiphany*? One of those moments occurred to me in a dream last night actually.

Last night, I dreamt that I was working at the front office of a luxury hotel in New York. Of course as with dreams, the place didn’t really look like New York. The street outside looked like a mix between Boston and Singapore. The hotel check in area looked like the Disney All-Star I was checking in my old Professor from Boston University and he looked at me and told me that I still had a report due that I never turned in. And I went to the back of house to pick it up and lo and behold, I was back in my house looking for the report.  I couldn’t find it so I called Milli because I always call her for comfort. She asked me if I checked in my piano bag. Then I woke up thinking, “What the bleep was that???”

As I was rolling over again and trying to get back to sleep, I suddenly thought started to compare my plans from 2004 when I graduated to my current plans now and suddenly realized how far I have deviated from my original course. In 2004, it was all about passion. It all began from my job at the Walt Disney Resorts. Whether I was checking in guests or making beds and cleaning rooms, I was still actively involved in guest vacations. I would share with them the exciting things to do there and the best was that I would be experiencing all that at night due to the complimentary passes I had to each and every park in the Walt Disney World Resorts. If I was working in the morning shift, I leave office, take the bus down to the Magic Kingdom to watch Tinkerbell fly across the sky right before the final fireworks. Sometimes I would be just in time to catch the night parade just before the fireworks. But the key thing was the experience I had that made me love what I did.

When I returned to Boston and was working in Starbucks, I was serving my friends and giving them their caffeine fixes, then meeting them after the shift to finish off our final essays and projects. Then I graduated and went on to work for the Wyndham Hotel where I was still sharing my experiences of Boston with guests and basically helping them plan their vacations. I remember during Christmas when all my friends and family returned home, we had these three guests from South Carolina. Since they were alone and I was free, I basically brought them all over Boston during my off day and just introduced them to Malaysian Cuisine at the Penang restaurant.

Now return back to the present. I feel like I’m doing well. I’m hidden from guests so I don’t get the brunt of the complaints. Yet at the same time I don’t get to see the impact of the vacations on them. But then as I learnt in the Oriental Hotel, guests from Singapore, Malaysia and China tend to be extremely demanding and yet not expressive about what pleases them. I asked myself, “Can you express what you love about your job at this current moment?” The response astounded me. “I like the hours and I like the salary.”

What has happened that my purpose in work has changed from the simple satisfaction of pleasing a weary traveler and experiencing the joys of a world traveler through their eyes into something as mundane as money and time? Perhaps it’s because I am looking into the most satisfying part of my life which is planning a family and positioning myself to reach a career path that will allow me to provide the kind of blessed life for them that I enjoyed. Afterall, if I have the kind of money and time that I am trying to get at in the future, then I myself will be the world traveler and I would not have to live through the eyes of those whom I serve. But then again, I must confess that a huge joy that I derived from my job in operations is the enjoyment of those guests whom I serve. Service itself was my love.  Surely there is a way to get my cake an eat it. Who ever came up with that phrase anyway? If I get my cake, of course I should eat it. It’s MINE!

I’m about to take the next step into my IMBA program with Peking University and the National University of Singapore. The purpose here will be to further my career and be able to fulfill one of the greatest jobs in my life – the provider of my family. I honestly hope that in my two years in the program, I will find a job path that I will truly like and that the family life that I will do anything for can be complemented by a job that I find just as fulfilling. I refuse to become another Singaporean corporate automaton. But I’m afraid that I may slowly blend in little by little.

*Words to use more often in everyday conversation

Epiphany:

Girlfriend invasion

Horror-scopes

Greetings to you all. We are well into 2007 and I am still struggling to write the correct year when I write my dates. Well lets hope I at least get it right by February. Else I may accidentally apply to the NTU MBA class starting at August 2006. How embarrasing would that be?

A colleague just sent me a Chinese horoscope prediction for 2007 by a guy called Paul Ng. Here's what it says about my sign the goat.

SHEEP 1991 1979 1967 1955 1943
The sheep connects with the boar. As such, there are plenty of lucky signs. There would be power. Employees may get promoted. Business people may expand. Do not forget there are people around jealous of you. Your romances are strong.

WORK: A successful year for you. You favor those sectors to do with transportation, travel or logistics. Both financial real estates would be good for you too. Watch out those big swings in the market.

WEALTH: Your income is directly proportional to your hard work and authority. Short term investments are better for you.

ROMANCE: If you are single, consider marriage. If you are married, your marriage should improve.

HEALTH: Your health is weaker than your wealth. There are many small illnesses. Rest well.

Highlights of Sheep of Different Years

• 1991 Your health is weak. Beware of problems to do with the ears, nose and throat. Beware of legal conflicts.
• 1979 If you are married, you may have children this year. Your work is stable. You may have many new ideas.
• 1967 You are prone to moving - both your house and job. Beware of accidents. Your relations may not be too stable.
• 1955 You would make money. But your health may be weak. Your job is stable.
• 1943 Watch out problems with your heart and blood pressure. Don't get greedy, otherwise you would be cheated.
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